Friday, December 7, 2012

forgive me all my trespasses and take me to your glory...

the big ass les mis blog:

take my hand and lead me to salvation. take my love, for love is everlasting and remember the truth that once was spoken. 'to love another person is to see the face of god.'

well, as most people who would read this blog would know, I LOVE LES MIS. i remember the first time i saw it vividly...because i was allergic to the theater and vehemently refused to leave. the moment, 'at the end of the day' started behind the scrim i was sold and wasn't going anywhere-even if my lungs were trying to escape my body.

i predict that the movie is going to be visually stunning and that anne hathaway might actually make me think that she can do more than look like a constipated fivel on screen. however, i'm like, 97% sure the singing is going to be a shit-show. there's going to be a lot of back tongue tension, fluttery vibrato, disney princess singing going on (i'm looking at you, seyfried).

i figured i'd make a collection of my dream les miserables recording...
firstly, and i know this is going to be controversial but i LOVED alfie boe's, 'bring him home'

yes, i know colm wilkinson is the proverbial man...but, the way alfie sings this just makes me melt.

speaking of colm wilkinson...his epilogue makes me weep like an overgrown baby:

i'm certifiably, meh about samantha barks' eponine. i think the voice has potential but is a hot much more can someone love unnecessary glottal attacks, am i right? she also has no chest voice..which, you know, is sort of important for our dear ponine. she also nasalises her dipthongs (due  at least in part to her tongue tension, which is totes visable in this clip)-which is for me.

in case  you missed the 25th anniversary special:

i was actually hoping that frances ruffelle's daughter would be considered for eponine...frances, as i'm sure most of you know was the original eponine.

i love that she actually sounds like  a street urchin. (ps-is it a requirement to have killer cheek bones to be eponine-frances, lea, celia, even lame-mantha barks all have cheeks for weeks)

oh, if you're curious about frances' daughter, eliza doolitle, check it:

but, let's be honest, there is no finer eponine than lea solonga...yes, i have seen both the sutton foster and celia keenan bolger versions. celia keenan bolger is the vocal love of my life, but eponine just did not suit her.

anyways, lame-mantha barks this is what chest voice should sound like...

also, if you've ever been curious, lea michele did do eponine pre-glee:

i feel since we've heard/seen so little of russell crowe in the trailers that he's either going to be amazing, or terrible.

but, you know who isn't terrible...norm lewis. i have such a voice crush on him! his porgy in porgy and bess, king triton in little mermaid, and his 2001 recording of elegies for angels, punks, and raging queens (aka my obsession).

lewis owning javert's suicide like a mother flippin' champ in the 2006 revival:

and boe and lewis in the confrontation scene from the 25th anniversary concert:

and when talking about javert and and valjean you can't forget to include this gem.
'you are wrong and always have been wrong. i'm a man, no worse than any man. you are free, and there are no conditions, no bargains or petitions. there's nothing that i blame you for. you've done your duty, nothing more. '

adult cosette is so boring and so often sung poorly. judy kuhn, aka the singing voice of disney's pocahontas is the exception. also, i predict that in the les mis inspired fashions yet to come, deep plunging lace v's will be all the rage:

also, i love seth rudetsky's deconstruction of judy kuhn and the role of cosette in general. cosette the annoying school marm who participates in annoying one-ups-manship. (i am lost--i am found, etc.)

she also went on to sing fantine in the most recent broadway's a live recording of the epilogue:

the thenardiers...
it is my dream to play madame thernardier. firstly, i think she should always be played by a plus size woman...sorry, helena bonham carter. i mean, i know that sacha baron cohen and hbc are going to chew up the sceneray with their hilarity. but, i really think matt lucas stole the 25th anniversary. i wish he and rebel wilson were doing the thenardiers.

also, if you weren't obsessed with the pbs reality show, 'broadway or bust' you might have missed charmingly insecure, evan greenberg's perfectly punch-lined interpretation:

aaron tveit is amazing and i'm excited to see him do this role. for those of you unfamiliar with him he was gabe in, 'next to normal'...he's alive, he's alive, he's so alive.

he also can sing the crap out of one of my favorite kerrigan-lowdermilk songs:

i'd be remiss in not mentioning how awesome ramin karimloo was in the 25th anniversary special as enjolras.

but, ramin, has also done marius...and while nick jonas was totally amazing, (insert liz lemon-esque eye roll) you should probably give this a listen:

song starts at 1:06

also, let's not forget michael ball:

just like vanessa williams, i've gone and saved the best for last...
it's no secret that, 'i dreamed a dream' is in my top ten musical theatre songs of all time...
fantine as a character is so heart breaking and her music is entirely reflective of that. her death sing, woof...insert me blubbering and rocking myself back and forth. now, lea solonga sang the stuffing out of, 'i dreamed a dream' both in the revival on broadway and in the 25th anniversary concert:

someone at some point decided it would be a good idea to have daphne rubin vega (original mimi in rent) do fantine...take-me-ooooouuuuut-of my misery. it's like fantine smoked five packs a day and then sang with helium...

patty did it for a variety show...and i love how she changed rhythms and pitches to be so ridiculously patty-esque...

do you need an, 'i dreamed a dream' dance remix...obvs, who doesn't?

les miserablah:

and then there's the perfection that is ruthie henshel:

if you love the confrontation scene and comedians...then, these clips are for you:

i'm partial to david wain:

these things exist:

so, friends, if anyone is still reading this, what are your thoughts on the upcoming movie?