Thursday, September 8, 2011

fall, i welcome you with open-sweater wearing-arms

i can feel fall creeping in...and i am so.freaking.excited.

fall is a cornucopia of awesome (see what i did there...wakka wakka wakka):

  • anything pumpkin related. (pumpkin spice latte's are seriously the only sweet coffee drink i love)
  • apple picking. i want to go to there.
  • sweater/hoodie wearing. it's my favorite type of clothing. (actually fall has the best clothes in general as demonstrated by the brilliant mari andrew)
  • halloween (i think i have an idea for a costume)
  • leaves changing colors
  • orange and red gerber daisies
  • fleece blankets
  • football season starting (bear down)
  • shows coming back from hiatus
  • salted caramel
  • soup
  • there's a certain sweetness that permeates the air that you carry with you all day.

in other news, i am two weeks into the new semester at work. i love my kids. one gave me the hunger games to read as well as two other ya books. devoured them over labor day weekend. riddle me this...why do young adult authors love to write about dystopian societies (i read the hunger games, delirium, and divergent)...maybe it makes the average sixteen year old feel better reading about being sixteen in a totally f*cked up alternate reality.

i always kind of miss school when this time of year rolls around. i like the structure and comradeship of school.

i realized i've been in colorado for five years. how is that possible? i miss chicago daily. i mean, don't get me wrong. i love my voice teacher, love the companies i sing with, LOVE the kids i's just not home.

sometimes you watch the muppet movie before going to work on a thursday...don't judge. life's like a movie, write your own ending, keep believing, keep pretending.

p.s. if you haven't seen's amazeballs.

Monday, July 18, 2011

sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare

i have been on the tail end of a summer illness. i hate that moment when you are starting to feel better but you still get tired quickly and for me, my voice still doesn't cooperate the way it normally does.

last night, i took some nyquil before going to bed. the nyquil mixed with the summer heat led for the craziest dream i've had in a long, long, LONG time.

the dream started with a road trip to new england with some of my denver friends (clander, wilberg, myhraface, and jarvie). we ended up somewhere in new england (which, in the dream looked remarkably like the fictional true blood, 'bon temps' town) to sleeping in the world's most ghetto tastic motel. we went to dinner and ran into andrew freeman who was there on a date with the dude from auto tune the news.

my friends and i left new england and went to paris on vacation. i love how dreams can be entirely linear and make absolutely no we go to paris, we're out sight seeing for the day and i'm holding a giant white bag with everyone's phones except for eric's. in the white bag are various things, one of which is the tag to a mattress. now, why it's illegal to pull off a mattress tag, i couldn't tell you. but, i can tell you that somehow my subconscious hung on to that little nugget and i ended up getting arrested in france for having a mattress tag in my bag. i had gotten separated from the group but claire managed to find me and we convinced the police that it had been claire's niece, tiffany, who had actually taken the tag off and if they'd let us go get her she'd confirm that. they gave us one phone call and since we knew i had everyone's phone but eric's we called him. then eric and my friend brian came and broke us out of french jail and an epic chase scene ensued. it was at that point i woke up.

i'm always puzzled by the brain. what it holds on to, what it conjures up, etc.

sound of music opens friday. hoping my voice is back fully.

harry potter was, epic. sad it ended. i won't go into great detail in case someone who's reading this hasn't seen it yet. i will say this: it is like saying goodbye to friends. sometimes parts of it go exactly the way you'd hoped and sometimes it doesn't quite feel settled.

i'm kind of in love with this (admittedly, i'm a sucker for all things ukulele)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

in time the rockies may crumble...

i would like to make it abundantly clear...
palazzo pants look good on no one, NO.ONE.
but, they are truly heinous on children.

p.s. apparently choralography is a thing...i for one am utterly amazed that it hasn't made it on to glee yet. come on glee, get on it.

my netbook has died, so this is coming from dev's computer. he's super swell.

i am so very exhausted. this weekend has been well worth it though. (speak easy bars ((green russell, what what)), wine talks, yogurtland adventures, sing a mile high, breakfast with former professors, voice lesson, psychic event, bad teacher, and dancing in a whole foods)

i got to see and hang out with rollo dilworth today. i am always amazed at how humble and full of grace that man is.

i was sad to be missing pride weekend at home. chicago, i love thee.

i am barely able to keep my eyes open. i suppose i should finish watching woody allen's, 'alice' and then head to bedfordshire propperly.

but, before i leave, i give you this:

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

24 hours can go so fast

an ode to eileen farrell.

eileen farrell is my favorite singer of all time (christine brewer being a close second). she was a singer's singer. i came across this interview and it just makes me love her and her similarly disproportionate body to mine even more.


also, if you've never heard her sing here are two clips to watch:

Monday, June 20, 2011

i've always depended on the kindness of strangers.

while, blanche dubois was bat shit crazy, the sentiment of depending on other's kindness is something we do share in common. (fun fact, tennessee williams once said had he written streetcar named desire later in life the character of blanche would have been male).

yesterday i drove across the heartland. illinois, check. iowa, check. nebraska, oh holy jesus. the sky turned a lovely shade of green and hail the size of softballs began coming down. there also was tornado warnings and sirens buzzing everywhere. i pulled over at a rest stop just east of gothenberg, nebraska. side note, why do people use rest stops to hook up. the smell alone would be enough to make me never want to schtupp there let alone the creepers who linger, and the suburban soccer moms with asymmetrical hair cuts...i start trying to call people who i knew would possibly be by a computer so they could give me information about what i was driving into. a nice woman at the rest stop who looked like she was married to a middle aged ken doll came up to me and asked me where i was going. i told her i was en route to denver and she told me that they were as well. she asked if i was traveling with anyone and when i told her, 'no' she took my number and called and texted me for the rest of my trip to make sure i made it okay and had survived the weather patches. it's little things like this that remind me of how humanity is still alive and kicking. we didn't talk about politics, or religion, or any other divisive topic. we stuck to the weather and my safety. i do believe that people care about people. (they just get misguided and money mongering). anyways, i'm back in denver. missing chicago. and probably missing you. (that's for like the two people who i think read this thing)

most in need of: coffee
song stuck in my head: ducktails theme song.
most unappreciated teenage mutant ninja turtle: donatello

Saturday, June 18, 2011

why, i wonder is my heart full of holes.

my last day in chicago was spent participating and celebrating with people i love dearly. i suppose that is all anyone can ever ask for. to love and know that they are loved.

my heart rips a little every time i leave this city. i just started mysting up in the shower and then i thought of this song.

and i fall asleep counting my blessings.

okay, enough of the sentimental and sappy. i'll be honest, my back and ass are not looking forward to the drive to denver tomorrow. if only i could install a massage chair in my little cherry baby (my car). at least i will be heavily armed with caffeine and tina fey's book on cd-'bossy pants' will see me through. if all else fails i can listen to warewolf bar mitzvah on repeat.

this was the recessional song today as well of one of my top five wilco songs...which is saying something 'cause wilco is totes my favorite band.


okay, i'm going to attempt sleep so that i can drive 18 hours tomorrow.

jazz hands on monday morning. you know you're 32 flavors of jealous.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

flacid weiner.

apparently weiner is resigning today.

throughout this process the thing that i have been most angered by is his hypocrisy.

weiner was always a congressman who was a champion of women's rights.

'it's funny how they don't respect a woman's life' an ironic statement from a man who's actions were so disrespectful. the victim in this is weiner's wife, huma abedin. pregnant with her first child and having her life crumble around her. they haven't even been married a full year. you know, he's not young, and he's already had an established career; he didn't need to get married for political aesthetic. why, would he choose to share his life with someone only to destroy it within the span of eleven months. i will never understand cheating. i will never understand taking the heart of someone and playing russian roulette with it. it's not just the action of weiner that baffles me. many a human has had their own narcissism, arrogance, and greed be their demise (john edwards, woof)...i really don't understand how, as a woman, someone plays the role of mistress. i would never want that done to me therefore i would never do it to someone else. maybe if you thought you truly loved the person i could see some sort of rationale in it, that's not to say i'd agree with the actions, just that maybe there'd be a grain of understanding. but, ruining someone's life (not weiner, but the wife's) for a twitter fuck is abhorrent...and if that makes me a judgmental bitch it makes me a judgmental bitch.

you know, at least with republicans you know exactly what you're getting. you know that they view women as subservient to men. you know that their idea of political savvy is packaged in tidy, attractive, bat shit crazy packages ala michele bachmann, sarah palin, and christine o'donnell.

sigh, who will we have to combat republicans with intellect and snarkyness.

in the words of john stewart, 'at 4:25 eastern standard time this story officially became sad'.

favorite chicago beer that's impossible to find: gumball head
morning breakfast companion: mamother effin' kelly
hardest part of the last few days: goodbyes.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

a lunar eclipse of the heart.

is it wrong that i can barely see the screen (i took my glasses off and am too lazy to put them back on again) and am going to forge ahead with writing a blogalamadingdong?

first of all: the moon tonight totally reminded me of moonstruck (it also reminded me of, 'total eclipse of the heart' if you haven't seen the literal video for that song i'm attaching it so that your life can be complete). you know, cher's finest work. (johnny cammareri, what what)

my time in chicago is nearing an end. this always makes me painfully sad. i feel like everytime i leave there's a hole the shape of the chicago sky line in my heart. more than anything the streets of this city represent home to me. i feel settled, loved, and welcomed.

my hair kind of got into a ponytail today...a whole new world, don't you dare close your eyes. now, any dudes reading this probably doesn't care much about this news. but, ladies back me up on this. it's a monumental day in the hair growing out process when you can get it into some semblance of a ponytail. it's like the hair gods came down from above and anointed ye ol' follicles.

i have, 'count your blessings' stuck in my head...i blame david bjorlin.

i love rain, even when it's coming down in torrents. there's something so peaceful about sitting somewhere and listening to it come down. it's the weird fusion of stillness and movement.

song obsession of the day: jackson-johnny cash and june carter cash
favorite realization of the day: i am genetically wired to love pot lucks
movies of the day: 17 again, don't drink the water

video as promised:

Monday, June 13, 2011

tony's recap

i LOVE the tony's. it fuses three of my favorite things: gay men, theatre, and award shows. so let's talk about the good, the bad, and the weird.

dear frances mcdormand, i love you like whoa...but this is the tony's not a bruce springsteen video or a mug shot. kthxbye.

dear tony's. please have them host together next year:

hugh jackman, i love thee.

biggest, 'upset'...
i don't know if i would consider this an upset but i really thought the book of mormon was going to have a clean sweep. so norbert leo butz (who is a musical theatre demi god) winning was surprising. sorry andrew rannells (elder price in the book of mormon), you're still supermegalatorta awesome.

so, is war horse like the lion king of straight plays? (ah pennsylvania, geek in a bowl)

ellen barken sounds like a sexy man, and i like it. (p.s. all i ever want to hear her say is, 'you're not the one who got turned into human jiffy pop)

Ellen Barkin Acceptance Speech Tony Awards 2011 by KD5EY

i love stephen colbert, his wonky ear, and the fact that he's a song and dance man. i want to see this movie version of company but it's ridiculously expensive. i'm not willing to harvest eggs to go to the movies.


i still maintain my love of sutton foster but that her as reno sweeney is kind of, meh vocally. but, who doesn't love a good tap number, ey?

the spider man musical looks so very awful. although, it did bring up the question of whether or not spider man would ejaculate spider for thought.

best line of the night goes to chris rock:


today in talking with a friend about a guy they've been seeing i asked. well, are you going on dates or just hanging out? they replied aren't they the same thing?


okay, dudes, let me make this clear. there is a vast difference between hanging out and dating. if you have any intention on getting with someone make that clear...even if you're just feeling it out (or up...whatever the case may be) make it clear that you're on a date. what is the difference you may ask?

being on a date has intention and purpose and some sort of direction. hanging out is cryptic, confusing, and the plague of evangelical men everywhere. so nut up, and speak your intentions if you have 'em.

also, chicago is all types of gorgeous right now.

music:mika-big girl (you are beautiful)
beverage-black coffee
t-shirt-teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Sunday, June 12, 2011


resurrection of the blog.

i miss musing in more than 140 characters. i've decided it's time to restart the blog.

book i'm currently reading: fool by christopher moore (it's great)
music i'm currently listening to: all things joni mitchell
current life motto: don't be fancy, just get dancy

every time i come home to chicago something i think a lot about is the notion of forgiveness. it comes over me like a deluge. home is a funny thing. it's where our fondest memories lie as well as our worst. for me, i used to fear running into my father so greatly i was constantly ill at ease. i couldn't walk down the street without checking over my shoulder or looking out the corner of my eye to make sure he wasn't somehow near by. now, i return home and feel so loved by my friends that i've stopped worrying so much about the prospect of seeing the man who single handedly attempted my destruction. it's amazing what love can conquer.

i attacked midsommar like it was my job yesterday. gay men and swedish people galore. all i can say is i was called gay cat nip and danced a lot. this has all of the trappings of a delightful day. speaking of d-light...i still maintain that, 'groove is in the heart' is probably the best dance song ever. i mean, it does have q-tip after all.

so excited for carissa and aj's wedding. so sad to see my time in chicago nearing it's end.